A Very Hawaiian Christmas

I snapped this with my phone on our first night on the island. I had forgotten how truly spectacular a sunset over the ocean can be.

This is a strange and lovely way to spend the holiday. May your day be filled with love and peace.

Christmas circa '78

Images from my favorite childhood Christmas. Handmade dollhouse thanks to my grandparents, Joyce and Al Martin. They are missed this year with all my heart.

Confession: I do not LOVE Christmas. It is not my favorite holiday. Like many others, I feel increased anxiety over gift giving and receiving, and a little sickness over the thoughtless consumerism I see around me (and often fall victim to), the music sounds soulless and the decorations feel cheap. My heart breaks for the hungry families in own neighborhood and the children who are burdened with responsibilities and worries beyond their years. Yes, the holidays, more often than not, bring me down.

As Emerson is not yet two and has very little concept of the tree and gifts and Santa we took this one year to officially skip Christmas. It's quite literally a dream come true for me. I've always wanted to do this. No ornaments, no gifts, no baking or cooking or cleaning. Oh I could go on and on. The spirit of escapism has taken over and it feels so right.

As an unexpected side effect, I have found myself in a deep haze of nostalgia for a few Christmas holidays from my childhood. One in particular, is barely a memory. One of those that is recalled more through photos and stories and a few fuzzy visions. It was 1978 and my grandparents gave me a beautiful two-story dollhouse. We stopped by their house on Christmas eve and they said that Santa had just dropped it off. Naturally, he left it on the organ bench next to their tiny tree. I was four years-old and it was and still is the most stunning gift I have ever received. Of course, I understood years later that they had worked together for many months on that house. Grandpa painting the trim a forest green and Grandma furnishing each room and wallpapering the walls. I wonder how one little girl could be so lucky?

I am really thinking that 2010 may be the year that I turn the corner on Christmas and muster up some new happy traditions and maybe even hand make a gift for Emerson that she might treasure for a lifetime. I hope that through her eyes I can find a deeper joy in the holiday season.

But today, I am off to dip my toes in the ocean and make believe it is just a day like any other.

Wishing you all a happy and peaceful Christmas Eve.

Me and my awesome Grandparents the same year they were secretly working away on that dollhouse.

Crowning acheivement (with sleeves)

Well, here it is. The sweet little dress I've been working on for Emerson. I cannot quite describe the process of creating this little number. (It involved fusible interfacing, "stitching in the ditch" and basting and gathering. Not to mention, cutting, pinning and measuring and basic math).

The project was full of missteps and I learned a bit about patience as it came together over two weeks of Emerson's nap times. There is nothing like the sound of a crying baby just as you realize you'll be ripping out several seams worth of sewing. I may have let few obscenities fly on that particular afternoon.

And then there was the time when I realized that I would not actually be making a kimono sleeve (the sole reason I bought the pattern) because I had cut the cuffs at half the required width. Yeah, that was disappointing. But the shear fact that this dress has sleeves is a huge step in the name of progress for me. Setting sleeves has brought me to tears on more than one occasion.

Maybe someday I'll post a photo of Emerson actually wearing her dress, but wrangling a sick toddler out of her jammies for a photo shoot this morning was low down on my Christmas list.

P.S. I realize now that the fabric print doesn't translate well on camera. It looks awfully busy and it is but I promise it's cute.

All done

Just wanted to show off a bit. I'm pretty happy with the finished quilt. Nothing close to perfection in terms of technique but I learned so much along the way. And I've gained some much-needed confidence when it comes to someday attempting a traditional quilt.

I followed Connie's awesome tutorial at Green Apple Orchard - meaning I probably read through it step by step no less than 50 times. No joke. Her details and photos got me through with very little frustration and no tears. Progress, people. This is serious progress for me. If you have ever wanted to make a blanket like this, I would totally recommend it. It's a great project for an inexperienced sewer (which I am).

As an unexpected outcome, I've also fallen back in love with my sewing machine. Working a little bit everyday at the machine has brought me much satisfaction. I'm finishing up another little project that I'll share here in the next couple of days that I am already unbelievably proud of and it even involves sleeves (my colossal downfall in the past).

All I want for Christmas

Found on Dooce. Photo via Type Tees.

Is this awesome t-shirt.

Cozy weekend

Photo via We Heart It.

Thanks for the encouraging words. I'm a bit more content today. A good night's sleep can do that. I'm looking forward to a rainy weekend of holiday parties. Hope the weekend is warm and cozy for you.

Moody blue

Eskayel wallpaper via Design Sponge.

Do you ever have one of those days when the resounding message like a bullhorn in your ear is YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG, YOU'RE DOING IT ALL WRONG? It's just a hunch, but I'm pretty well convinced that everyone around me has life figured out. I am absolutely sure that your house is sparkling clean, your car has just been detailed, you're thriving in your career, you probably didn't eat two cupcakes for lunch yesterday (and follow it up with two cookies), I'm sure your child slept through the night and you're definitely whipping up something nourishing and healthful for dinner tonight.

So yeah, it's one of those weeks. I just want to crawl into this room for a healthy dose of calm and comfort. The deep blue wall is so sophisticated and the sunflowers add the perfect bit of happiness. This overall look is pretty much my aesthetic goal in life. And it feels achingly out of reach today.

Adventuring

Oh, how I wish all of her days could begin with a hand-painted sign of welcome. Emerson started "school" last week and it could not have been better for her or for me. Her enthusiasm got me through the toughest moments.

I wanted to stay and play with her new friends and her lovely teachers. I wanted so badly to be a part of her new world - hold her hand as she discovered new toys, special books and forbidden snacks (seriously, nilla wafers must have knocked her socks off) and different nap time rituals. But deep down I knew this was her space and her time to explore.

I held my breath for hours. Worried that she might be wondering where I went, that she might be feeling lonely or frightened.

Turns out she was happy and talkative. She loved the kitchen toys and especially the playground. She chose not to get her hands dirty with the finger paints. (She's quite particular about her hands. I forgot to mention that when I dropped her off.) She slept soundly for two hours. And after some encouragement she ate a chocolate cupcake - her first of many more to come - that I am sure.

Keeping busy

Just wanted to give you a little sneak peak into what I've been working on....my first quilt. Well, not a traditional quilt (which is still on my wish list of projects) but a decidedly easier "rag quilt". I wanted to make a blanket for Emerson that might last her through childhood sleepovers and family movie nights on the couch so I tried to avoid the omnipresent use of pink and anything too babyish. The flannel print features little houses, butterflies, birds, trees and flowers.

Tonight I will attempt to sew all the rows together, cut slits into all the raw edges and then toss it into the washing machine to achieve the soft fuzzy edges. It's been a great "beginner" project as I am a very rusty seamstress with a sometimes debilitating attachment to perfection. This blanket is already full of puckered and less than straight seams and each time my needle has veered off course, I've fought the urge to rip out the seams and have mostly just smiled and persevered. This is progress, friends. There was a time that I would have given up at the first misstep and stashed the pile of fabric in shame. (I have a large graveyard of remnants to prove it).

This blanket is more about love and intention. I hope it provides warmth and comfort for many years to come. As I work away I am becoming more proud of my effort than of the expected outcome. It doesn't have to be perfect. Or, maybe it will be perfect just the way it is - croocked seams and all.

Country stitch by stitch

Since the never-ending garage cleaning project commenced last summer, I have uncovered three jewelry boxes of my Great Grandmother Elsie's baubles, vintage sewing patterns from the 1960s and 70s and this enormous map of France, hand-embroidered by my Grandmother Lilette.

According to my father, it was stretched over a canvas and hung in his childhood home in Chabanais, France. He also recalls that is was framed in glass to protect against wine spills. And that bit just makes me smile. I love imagining a very young version of Lilette carefully creating this for herself or her family. I wonder if she knew it would survive the generations and one day become a treasured heirloom in the United States?

Lilette marked major cities and regions by their defining elements including, bursting champagne bottles, clusters of grapes, flowers, wedges of cheese, boats, the Eiffel Tower and my favorite - the woman below pulling on a pair of stockings. Is there a French city to the Southeast of Paris that is known for its fine undergarments? I'm not sure. But I am honored to have this wall hanging. Unfortunately, it's too large for any of the walls in our current house. Lucky for me, this is not our "forever" house. I hope Emerson grows up with this image in her mind - just as her Grandfather did.